Last year I got word—indirectly—that former colleagues were criticizing me behind my back. The gist? They thought I was too tough of a boss (or that other B-word, to be exact) to be leading a movement about verbal kindness.
Ouch.
But here’s the thing: there was some truth to it, and that’s exactly why their comments cut so deep. It’s not that I don’t believe in kindness; I do, wholeheartedly. It’s that I’ve had to learn it the hard way, from the standpoint of being the shyest kid on the planet, potentially the most awkward, and often the most buttoned up. I didn’t become a lawyer as my first career by accident, and I wasn’t born one of those sunshine people.
It was a rough road from that old world, y’all, and sometimes still is. Along the way, I found a piece of ancient wisdom + magic that I believe needs to be shared with everyone.
So what if I need to teach the lesson while I’m still learning it myself?
And isn’t that the point, really? We often look up to “perfect” experts—people who’ve never struggled with the very thing they teach. But what if that’s backwards? What if we stopped taking financial advice from trust-fund millionaires, and instead listened to someone who started from nothing and achieved financial freedom step by step? What if we took health advice from someone who actually battled chronic illness or obesity and found a path to sustained fitness?
Because it’s people like me - like you - who learn these lessons in the trenches and come out wiser, stronger, and more passionate about sharing what we’ve discovered - the hard, zesty way. The way that sears itself into our subconscious. It’s not always (ever?) pretty, but it’s real.
Those who’ve had to fight for their growth hold the strongest keys to unlock change in other people’s lives.
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So how about you? Have the haters ever come at you with a piece of truth?
You can face that criticism, let it hurt for a minute - or a year! - and then do something transformative with it.
You don’t have to be perfect to lead a movement or to teach a skill. In fact, it’s probably better if you’re not. Being “in process” keeps us humble, connected, and continuously learning.
What’s the thing you’re still learning that you decided to give back to others (now) anyway - before you’re perfect?